The 5 Steps to Separate Resume and Eulogy Virtues

David Brooks is a New York Times columnist and best-selling author. In one of his pieces, he asks his readers if they have “resume virtues or eulogy virtues,” ultimately diving deeper into the subject with his best-selling book “The Road to Character.”

Brooks defines resume virtues as the skills you bring to the job market that contribute to external success. But the eulogy virtues are much deeper, much more impactful. They’re the ones that are often discussed at your funeral, the virtues that exist at the core of your being — whether you are kind, brave, honest or caring. Most of these are based on the relationships we have formed over our lives.

These two virtues should run parallel to one another. We should lead a quality life, be caring, honest and brave, yet amass the skills needed to help our level of performance. Unfortunately, these lines never stay perfectly straight.

Brooks discusses the power of social media and our ever-growing obsession with self-promotion. He believes we are no longer building character, but are instead trying to build an Instagram or Twitter following. His aim with the book was to motivate us to re-balance our lives.

We, as leaders, should re-balance our team, even when acknowledging we also want to add to our resume. We are competitive, we are driven to succeed, and because of this internal drive, we can claim we are not part of the selfie generation. But our actions say different. Hanging a photo of yourself accepting an award in your office is no different than a selfie on Instagram — it carries the same connotation. We all need to strive to become more selfless. Selfless leadership is indeed a rare quality, but it’s the only real tool to help us shift the focus from resume to eulogy virtues.

Let’s improve ourselves in these five areas. Before long, we, too, can become selfless leaders.

1. Take the initiative to serve others.

2. Be flexible and view interruptions as opportunities.

3. Give to others. Never expect a return gift.

4. Teach the difference between coaching and criticism to all.

5. Listen more than speak. Listen with the intent to hear, not reply.

With these five steps, we might just be able to straighten out those intersecting lines.

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