Authentic vs. Responsible

The team member had a terrible presentation — and the company wasn’t able to secure the deal.

Afterward, the boss is irate and doesn’t hold back.

“We lost this deal because of one person,” he says in front of the entire team. “We know what the problem was. You should be working in the mailroom.”

In leadership, we often hear clichés of “Be yourself” and “Be authentic” — and there can be some merit to this advice.

But the boss’ words after the presentation debacle were a snapshot into what Yuval Noah Harari, author of the best-selling book Sapiens, says is a crucial leadership distinction: Authentic vs. Responsible.

Authentic:

• Expressing our stream of consciousness• Articulating how we really feel at a particularly emotional moment• Consistently acting on impulse with our words and behaviors

Responsible:

• Taking some extra time to think carefully about what we say• Filtering emotions to more effectively serve our teams• Considering thoughtful solutions to problems that may go against our instincts

“We need people who have a barrier between the mind and the mouth and think very carefully about what they say,” Harari recently said on the Freakonomics podcast. “It’s a big responsibility.”

This isn't to imply we need to radically transform or that we should never express what's in our hearts.

But it's important that we understand that our impulses aren't always right — and when emotions are running high, we can't always say or do what we may feel at the moment.

We can do irreparable damage to our teams and ultimately our careers by being the wrong type of "authentic."

It's paramount for us to instead be responsible.