'You Can Get Past a lot of Things if There’s True Love'

Michael Deegan was doing well.

He was fresh out of college and had a job with Coca-Cola that paid well. He seemed to be on a fast-track for corporate success.

But Deegan wasn't fulfilled. Sports — baseball in particular — had always been a major part of his life, and now he was away from the dugout and missing the relationships and team dynamic that had shaped so much of who he was.

So he left Coke to join tiny Marietta College in Southeastern Ohio as a baseball assistant coach, working odd jobs at the school to pay the bills.

Nearly two decades later, he's now the head coach at Denison University, while also working as leadership consultant, author and blogger. 

The Daily Coach caught up with him recently to discuss navigating career crossroads', how to become deaf to advice, and strategies when you're not having a good day.

This interview has been condensed and edited for brevity.

Coach, thanks a lot for doing this. Tell us about your childhood and some lessons from your early years.

I grew up in a pretty traditional family in Western Pennsylvania. My mom was a teacher, but she also took bets at a racing track down the road. She was one of the hardest-working people I’ve ever known. She would teach, come home for an hour or two, and then she’d go back out.

My grandparents owned a jewelry store in downtown Wheeling, W. Va. My dad worked six days a week. I grew up in a town that had five steel mills that ran 24 hours a day. Those mills went out and with that came problems like a lack of jobs and poverty. I always felt grateful I could be playing basketball in the afternoon and be the only person with my color of skin on the court. In the evening, I’m in a corporate box at a Pittsburgh Pirates game with a CEO. You learn how to move in different circles, and I learned how to interact with different people, a billionaire, blue-collar or someone less fortunate.

What drew you to coaching?

I played baseball at Marietta College. After I graduated, I started working at Coca-Cola in sales. I was working from 6 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. every day making good money, but I didn't love it. I started taking graduate classes at Duquesne University. My goal was to get a counseling Master’s so I could be a guidance counselor. There were so many kids where I was from who had great ability and potential but could never get on a good path. I thought as a counselor, I could help them and I could coach.

I was one semester away from graduating and getting my Master’s when the coach I played for in college retired and our head assistant got the job. He called me and said, “Hey, I have over 100 applicants here. I really want you to consider taking this.” I never really formally interviewed for the job. I didn’t really have a plan, it just kind of happened and I decided to take it.

A lot of people, particularly coaches, come to that early career crossroads of whether to follow their passion. What guided you through that time and what advice would you give to someone in a similar position?

If you’re feeling tugged in some way, at some point, you have to have the courage to just jump right in. I mentioned my family background, unbelievable parents, but my dad was of the mindset, “You’re working at Coca-Cola. You’re making more money than I make. How could you leave that? I don’t understand this.”

I had to go against the advice of people who were close to me. It was well-meaning advice, but it was from people who didn’t quite understand it. I knew in my heart I couldn’t do that for the rest of my life. I had to explore.

You can get past a lot of things if there’s true love. What I’ve learned is when you take risks and chances and you try to make a big change, certain people will fade away. But the ones who really care and love and support you, they’ll be there. Even the ones who thought my decision was a poor one were still in my corner. They didn’t hope it would fail.

But you do find that the people who really care about you will No. 1, forgive you for your mistakes and No. 2, they’re pulling for you. They want you to make it work. A lot of times, we get advice from well-meaning people, but a lot of them haven’t done the internal work to know what they want, and that’s where things got mixed up.

How has your leadership style evolved since when you started?

I lead way more with honesty than I used to. What I mean by that is if I was having a bad day years ago, I’d kick buckets and then everyone stays away because you’re in a bad mood. Now, I’ll just outright say to my team, “My kids are driving me crazy. My wife’s on me. I got yelled at in our staff meeting today. I just need a good practice.” What’s amazing to me is that nine times out of 10, the guys will say, “O.K., I’ve got you, Coach.” And they’ll go hard. I think being completely vulnerable and honest goes a long way.

You wrote a piece a couple of years ago called “The 7 Elements You Should Consider Before Sliding into the Big Seat” about going from assistant to head coach. How did that come about?

I was in my second or third year as a head coach. We were 3- or 4-0, and we were playing a team that went on to be the national champions that year. We were up in the eighth inning and blew the game.

That night, you have these thoughts you try to wrestle with. I was in the hotel, doing some laundry and I got cornered by a parent. All I could think about was “We just lost a game, how am I going to keep this team together?” And I got jumped about playing time. I was blindsided. It wasn’t threatening, just someone really upset. There’s a big difference when you slide 3 feet over from assistant to head coach. I wrote that piece that day in a hotel room in Dallas. There are situations you can never be fully-prepared for and just have to experience.

One of your points is that you need to be ready as a head coach to have a different relationship with your players than when you were a head coach.

I wrote that piece in 2016, and it’s funny, that’s the one point I might actually challenge myself on now. It is different, but it doesn’t have to be. There certainly is a power dynamic that’s different. But ultimately, I write their name in the lineup. When I wrote that piece at the time, it was a little bit to protect myself.

I sometimes guarded myself and kept a distance. I never wanted relationships to impact my decisions. Now, seven years later, I think I can do a better job of knowing people and still making that tough decision. I can say, “I love you. You work your butt off, but we’re still not going to do that.” Seven years ago, I might’ve felt bad for you or been afraid that our relationship may earn you playing time. Now, I just say it. The best players are going to play.

Do you have any methods or particular strategies to unwind after a big game?

I have some things I do before I walk in the door so I can still show up as a husband and father. One of the things is don’t come in on the phone. I’ll circle my neighborhood a few times if I’m on the phone or need to get my mind back to the present. I only live five minutes from campus, and it’s very easy to bring your baggage with you. As I’ve gotten more experienced, I’ve gotten my ego out of it a bit more and can process it a bit better. I try to watch very little sports on TV because you go right into coach mode again.

Is there anything you wish you knew when you started out or that you might do differently in retrospect?

The big thing is I wish I would’ve been myself more. Do the hard work to create the self-awareness. If you’re going to do this at a high level, you’re going to study a lot of leaders, a lot of coaches. But you do that not to be them but to pull bits and pieces. I was busy trying to be someone who I wasn’t.

But I think high-level athletes are great bulls--t detectors. They can smell it out. If you’re not being real, they can feel it. My first several years, I wasn’t living in that space. There are so many different ways to win and be successful, but the biggest is to be the best version of who you are.

Q&A Resources

Coach Mike Deegan ― Website | Twitter | LinkedIn | Book: Let It Rip