You Can Handle the Truth

We need to create an environment from the beginning based on honest coaching and leading.

December 17, 2019

“Truth makes you rise to new heights, no matter where you are.” — Kamal Ravikant

Last week in the NBA, two Hall of Famers allegedly criticized current Philadelphia 76ers star player Joel Embiid for his lack of conditioning, effort, and complete domination of the game. The story was reported throughout the media, always using the word criticize when discussing what Charles Barkley and Shaquille O’Neal had to say about Embiid. Yet, in reality, both Barkley and O’Neal were not critical. They were honest, helpful, caring, and, most of all, concerned. They both want Joel Embiid to do well and reach his fullest potential. By offering their words of wisdom, they were not a critic; they were coaching — a big difference.  

Former U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt offered this excellent view of the critic and someone who expresses their opinions with a real understanding of the situation.  

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

The person President Roosevelt is describing wants to hear coaching, wants to listen to ways to improve. Therefore that person knows the complete difference between coaching and criticism. Joel Embiid was willing to listen as well as hear the words of Barkley and O’Neal. He agreed with their assessment. Most great players want to understand how to get better. So why do we stop coaching the best players the hardest? Why do we yell at the backups and not the stars? Why do we not find ways to cultivate a culture of excellence consistently?   

In part, because we are afraid to be viewed as the critic. We fear being referred to as hard to please; never satisfied will make people like us less. We tend to blame the players for being sensitive in accepting hard coaching. Yet, in reality, we as coaches and leaders are too fragile to the moniker that’s attached to us. 

We need to create an environment from the beginning based on honest coaching and leading. Honest talk, truthful conversations that everyone from top to bottom must accept. The culture must accept coaching, must accept honesty, and must be willing to have frank discussions with star players or coaches. 

Accountability over favoritism when leading your team and organization. And for those who struggle to accept the words as coaching and not a criticism, then it might be time to move on. We all can handle the truth when delivered with grace and pure intentions. 

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