We Can't Fall Victim to 'The Tyranny of Being Picked'

We all crave it.

It means we’ve made it. It means we’re appreciated. It means our talents have finally been recognized.

Except it doesn’t always happen. We don’t always get picked. And sometimes, it has absolutely nothing to do with us.

In his best-selling book “Poke the Box,” author Seth Godin argues that we must reject what he calls “the tyranny of being picked” and instead begin choosing ourselves.

How often do we allow our self-worth to be determined by a boss, a prospective employer, a significant other, an outside critic — all the external forces that we have little control over?

We can’t keep doing this. We need to stop craving so much approval and acceptance.

Let’s make peace with it. We’re not for everyone. And not only are we not for everyone, we’re not for most people. But instead of living and dying with whether we’re chosen, whether we get the job, how about we reframe it? How about we begin appreciating our own strengths more and make peace with the fact that what people think of us is none of our business?

Let’s pick our ourselves.

Let’s stop second-guessing what we would’ve done differently, stop psychoanalyzing every minute detail, stop comparing ourselves to everyone around us and stop living and dying for approval.

College Football Coach Ed Orgeron wasn’t for USC, but won a national championship last year with LSU. Jimmy Butler wasn’t for the Philadelphia 76ers but recently led the Miami Heat to an Eastern Conference title. Los Angeles Lakers Coach Frank Vogel was fired by the Indiana Pacers in 2016 and then by the Orlando Magic in 2018. Now he’s coaching in the NBA Finals.

Of course they’ve made some adjustments along their journeys, but are they radically different through their successes than they were through their failures? Not likely.

We cannot allow someone else’s inability to see our worth serve as an indictment of our abilities, as difficult as that can be at times.

Let’s stop waiting to get picked. Let’s stop surrendering our happiness to the approval of others. Let’s realize that regardless of whether we’re chosen or not, we’re the exact same person.

As long as we’re not being disrespectful and offensive, what people think of us is truly none of our business.

Let’s rebel against the tyranny of being picked. It’s finally time that we pick ourselves.

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