How to Cut a Team Member

It's never easy to deliver bad news.

Momentarily shattering someone’s dream is one of the hardest conversations anyone can have. But it has to be done, and it needs to be handled with class, dignity and, most of all, honesty — with added advice.

In the final episode of HBO’s critically-acclaimed series Hard Knocks, Detroit Lions Coach Dan Campbell is featured informing players of their release. It’s a hard conversation for Campbell, once a former NFL player, who feels genuinely compassionate as he tells players they won't be part of the team.

Campbell or any leader in the position of delivering bad news must find a balance between empathy and honesty — which is not an easy task. It requires self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

Understanding the circumstances of the person you're addressing and being able to deliver an actionable strategy for their improvement is really the only course of action. Merely expressing sorrow is self-indulgent. It may seem like an attempt to show caring and hurt, but it typically falls well short, as the person receiving the news thinks, "If you cared so much and if it was so hard, then why am I here?"

The Muse in the Odyssey is a deity or goddess whom Homer, the author, made an appeal to as he began writing the epic poem. In Greek mythology, there were Greek goddesses who are in charge of giving an author inspiration, skill, knowledge, and even the right emotion at the beginning of their work.

When delivering rejection, instead of feeling sorry, and sharing in the mourning, we need to become a Greek Goddess, offering honesty and an actionable plan. What demonstrates a sense of caring more than shallow words of sorrow, is showing the person you cared enough to be honest and creating an actionable plan moving forward.

When we have to deliver the news of rejection, we should:

1. Document the reasons for their release. Give specific details with data to support the claim. Rejection is hard for anyone to accept. Explaining the reasons will not make it any easier, however, taking the time to write out “Why” the release occurred serves both parties. It gives the person being released a better sense of the “Why.” It also helps the person making the decision. By writing the reasons on paper, doing the research allows the decision maker a sense of clarity and understanding to ensure they are making the right call.

2. Give an actionable plan on paper for the person moving forward on how to improve and overcome their weaknesses. Become a mentor for them — which shows you care.

3. Be honest about the future. Never suggest there might be a possible return if there isn’t any chance. Focus on how to improve, don't offer a ray of fake sunshine.

Balancing the thin line between honesty and empathy is never easy. Showing you care only takes a little time.