Leaders Don't Ask

The house in South Providence, R.I., was tiny — and held nine children in all.

One of the kids would routinely put water in his cornflakes because the family couldn’t afford milk. His lunch often consisted of just mayonnaise between two pieces of bread.

Over four decades later, Ed Cooley, the kid who ate those who sandwiches and slept on a mattress with the springs poking through, is now a multi-millionaire and the reigning Naismith College Basketball Coach of the Year.

Last week, in a clip that garnered lots of attention on Twitter, Cooley, the coach at Providence College, listed what he views as five essential qualities of a leader:

1. Demander2. Lover3. Carer4. Sharer5. Someone who holds team members accountable

But, perhaps more importantly, he also listed a trait that doesn’t comprise true leadership: Asking.

It's a critical lesson.

Just about all of us want our team members to take on our personalities and to consume themselves with putting forth the best possible product. We push, we encourage, we pour our hearts into those we lead to obtain top results.

But if we have to ask for effort, ask for more commitment, ask for greater intensity, and ask for passion in the mission, we haven’t really done our jobs and made our greater cause known.

And ultimately, we’re compromising the quality of the overall product.

The truth is that it’s always on us to push those we lead to places they can’t get on their own. This requires setting lofty standards, establishing the right habits, and maintaining the discipline and commitment to the overall vision — particularly when adversity presents itself.

Maybe most importantly, it means confronting anything that gets in the way of this.

It's imperative that we get our teams to understand that it's not just about the scoreboard or the numbers on the quarterly report.

It's about the process and the countless little details that go into achieving a mission that outsiders will never see.

That means insisting that our teams get it right and execute with consistency.

"We're trying to win the game. We're not just trying to play," Cooley said.

"Leaders are not great askers. They're incredible demanders."