Fear of Embarrassment

All this new technology has made our life easier. Smart phones, smart televisions, and ordering at a fast-food restaurant without having to make any eye contact. We can do so much and never have human interaction. Is it a blessing or a curse?

Today, if you walk into a McDonald’s restaurant, you no longer have to explain your order to the counter clerk verbally. You walk over to one of the many big screens as you enter and privately place your order by punching a few items and sliding your card in for payment. It’s simple smooth, and your name is called for pickup in seconds. You leave contented and appreciate McDonald’s for keeping up with the times of the day. But are they really doing us a favor?

“What we are finding is when people dwell more, they tend to select more," McDonald's CEO Steve Easterbrook told CNBC. "So, there is a little bit of an average check boost that comes with it.”

The check boost has nothing to do with contemplation. It has everything to do with being embarrassed. Humans are honest with their desires when sitting before a screen and then telling another human the truth.

Seth Stephens-Davidowitz discussed this in his book Everybody Lies, which explores what people secretly search for on the internet and what it reveals about society.

Stephens-Davidowitz shows that while people often lie to others, they tend to be shockingly honest when searching the internet or being in front of a screen. Data shows that if you want two Big Macs, you will order them on the screen. If there isn’t a screen; you will order one for fear of what the person taking the order might think.

So, how do we, as leaders, teachers, parents, and friends, encourage those around us to speak freely? How can we create a culture of honesty and transparency without embarrassment?

Here are some strategies that can help:

1. Foster a judgment-free environment: Create an honest room—when people enter, they understand everyone's thoughts and ideas are valued, regardless of their differences. HANG A HUGE SIGN FOR ALL TO SEE AS THEY ENTER In this room — there are no right or wrong ideas, just ideas. One room will eventually lead to another, and before long, the building becomes an “Honesty Zone.”

2. Lead by example: As a leader or influencer, demonstrate openness and vulnerability by sharing your own thoughts and opinions. Be the first to say something crazy. This can help normalize honest expression and encourage others to do the same.

3. Active listening: People will say what they think if you listen — intently — Practice active listening, paying full attention to what others are saying without interrupting or judging. Show genuine interest by asking questions and seeking clarification. This helps people feel heard and acknowledged.

4. Appreciate diverse perspectives: Encourage diversity of thought and recognize the value of different viewpoints. Demand different ideas. Embrace varied perspectives as opportunities to learn and grow rather than viewing them as threats or conflicts.

5. Provide constructive feedback: When individuals do share their thoughts, respond constructively and positively. Avoid belittling or dismissing their ideas, even if you disagree. Constructive feedback can help encourage further engagement and confidence.

6. Build trust: Cultivate an environment of trust by being reliable, honest, and supportive. When people trust their colleagues or leaders, they are more likely to feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and ideas openly.

Remember that creating a culture where people feel comfortable expressing their thoughts takes time and consistent effort. Implementing these strategies can help remove barriers and create an environment that encourages open and honest communication.

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