Going to the Balcony

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In October 1962, Cold War tensions were already escalating when the U.S. Navy detected a Soviet submarine hovering in the North Atlantic.

The Americans ordered it to come to surface — and began dropping signaling depth charges to get the attention of the vessel’s crew.   

But unbeknownst to them, the submarine was armed with a nuclear torpedo — and when the Soviets felt the shock from the depth charges, two of the members aboard decided they should fire what was known as “the special weapon.”

But a third man, Capt. First Rank Vasily Arkhipov, paused and said no — reminding them that they were only authorized to do so if the walls of the sub had been breached, which hadn’t occurred.

So, the vessel never fired.

Had it released the nuclear torpedo, the fate of the world likely would have been altered.

“We came very, very close (to nuclear war), closer than we knew at the time,” former U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara said decades after the incident.

Arkhipov’s choice to pause and express his concerns were what famed negotiation expert William Ury considers “going to the balcony.”

To Ury, “going to the balcony” is about taking a few seconds, gathering ourselves, and reflecting on the situation in front of us with mature perspective.

“Dealing with conflict, dealing with negotiation is an inside job. It starts right here,” Ury recently said on The Learning Leader Show. “You need to start by stopping,” “

The point is that when stakes are highest, we’re often tempted to act on our impulses.

But as much as we may hear cliches like “Trust your instinct” or “Your impulses are usually right,” there are plenty of instances where our judgment can easily become clouded — leading us to make choices with dire consequences.

Arkhipov’s ability to pause that night likely saved thousands of lives and serves as a crucial leadership reminder when we face pressurized situations with heightened emotions.

The first — and most important — negotiation is frequently with ourselves.

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