Healthy Conflict

The Tug Fork part of the Big Sandy River separates West Virginia and Kentucky. In the 1800s, two families owned property on either side of this vast piece of land: the Hatfields on the West Virginia side and the McCoys on the Kentucky.

A bitter feud ensued between them over the land, crops and the moonshine business. But while everyone in the region knew the root of the conflict, no one tried to stop it until it became unmanageable.

On the night of Jan. 1, 1888, the Hatfields surrounded the McCoy cabin and opened fire, killing two family members who were sound asleep. This horrific, senseless act escalated the feud to epic proportions, and the dispute entered the American folklore lexicon as a metonym for any internal feuding within families or organizations.

Many teams fight amongst themselves more than they fight their opponents, which is why talent never wins when it does not entirely buy in. Internal feuds are so often the killers of teams. Leaders face the monumental challenge of building an organization that can argue, discuss and express discontent, while not becoming the Hatfields and McCoys. Finding that balance between healthy and unhealthy conflict is a never-ending battle.

When taking over the Lakers in 1999, Phil Jackson navigated the famous Shaq-Kobe feud perfectly. They had both come to the Lakers in 1996 with high expectations and a belief each would be the face of the franchise. Both players were alpha males, desiring to prove they were the best in the league and wanting to be the focal point of the offense. Before Jackson’s arrival, the Lakers had lost to San Antonio in the playoffs, 4-0, leading the two previous coaches to lose their jobs.

Instead of seeing this tension and dismissing it or chastising the players, Jackson used their different skills to develop a new playing style. O’Neal brought power and strength, while Bryant was fast and a great shot creator. Jackson developed a way of playing that highlighted both talents, and he built a supporting cast around them that brought out the best in everyone. The outcome: three NBA championships in a row.

Jackson dealt directly with the issues, using the conflict to create new energy and perfect harmony on the court, even though it didn’t exist off of it. He didn’t try to make everyone happy — he defined the roles of the players and assured them that if they would play the game his way, each would benefit. Jackson dealt with the core issues of the conflict from day one, and though it took years before either man recognized the other, they won championships doing what was best for the team.

Great leaders never behave like the Hatfields and McCoys. They detect conflict and immediately address the issues, finding solutions. As leaders, it’s our job to embrace conflict, never to run and hide from it hoping it will resolve itself, as many thought the Hatfield-McCoy feud would.

Embrace conflict immediately.