'You Have To Do Some Things Differently To Inspire People'

Jamy Bechler didn’t care for his seventh-grade teacher, but on one particular day, she handed him a book that would change the course of his life: They Call Me Coach, by John Wooden. 

“It was the first time I experienced reading about a coach who cared about his players, whether they were making baskets or not,” Bechler said. 

“That started getting me on the road of, ‘There’s different coaching out there.’” 

Bechler became infatuated with leadership and, in the decades since, has served as a college basketball coach, high school athletic director and consultant to schools and business. He’s also penned five books. 

The Daily Coach spoke to him about bouncing back from getting fired, common mistakes he sees leaders make, and why consistency is the true measure of culture.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Jamy, thank you for doing this. Tell us about your childhood and some key lessons from it.

I loved growing up in Michigan. My dad was not well educated at all, but he was the hardest worker. Everybody loved him. He was a local politician — Democrats and Republicans voted for him. He did what was right. He was a truck driver, a long-time firefighter. He worked maintenance at Hillsdale College. He was doing it with his actions.

My mom was the head of the teachers’ union at our school. I saw her fighting and working for everybody. Those kinds of things really shaped me in terms of working hard, pulling yourself up by the boot traps. Nobody’s going to give you anything, but try to help people along the way. 

You were a college basketball coach for several years before becoming a consultant and speaker. What’d you learn in your 20s that you still apply?

I started off at Kent State University as a graduate assistant under Gary Waters.

I then went to be a Division III assistant. For five years, I made a total of $36,000. I was never full time, according to HR, but in my mind I was full time. Every waking hour, I devoted myself because I wanted to be a head coach. I wanted to learn, grow and develop as quick as possible. My sixth year of coaching, I became a head coach making more than I had those five years put together. It seemed like I’d arrived.

I was the youngest Division III women’s basketball coach in America at 27 years old. I was young, but I was constantly trying to prove I belonged. “Do what I told you to do. They wouldn’t have hired me if I didn’t know what I was doing.” I made a ton of mistakes early on, but we had some success. My second year, I was coach of the year. Everything seemed to be going as planned.

Four years later, they allowed me to take my talents elsewhere. I was very stubborn, very uncoachable. I was very ego-centric. It was all about me. I got fired. It was devastating to a young coach.

How’d you navigate that difficult period?

After I left the athletic director’s office, I called the only Division I coach I knew who had been fired. His name is Ed Schilling. He was an assistant at Memphis with John Calipari at the time. He said, “You have to decide right now whether you’re going to be bitter or better. Five or 10 years from now, are the kids you’re coaching going to have a better coach because of you getting fired today?”

He said, “All I’m hearing from you is, ‘The school didn’t do this. The school didn’t do that. They should’ve done this.’ You’re complaining about the things you can’t control, but you haven’t once told me the things that you could’ve done better as a coach.”

My mentality changed. I’d love to say my actions changed immediately, but it was a process. That day, though, was the key to the rest of my coaching career, and I was a much better coach moving forward. It didn’t mean the ego didn’t get in the way sometimes, but I definitely started putting my team ahead of me.

You coached for several years after, then became an athletic director at an Indiana high school that was going through some tough times. What challenges did you face and how’d you overcome them?

I did a lot of preparation in making the switch from college to high school, but you still don’t know what you don’t know until you’re actually in it. 

We had a lot of debt, stacks of bills we couldn’t pay. Kids were doing things they shouldn’t do. Academics were down. We weren’t winning as much as they were used to. It wasn’t that there were bad coaches or anything. I think with culture, you get what you allow, reward, reinforce or accept.

We hit the ground running. We implemented some budget stuff, instituted some new fundraising principles, started an endowment. One of the things they’d had a problem with for years is they’d only worried about “now,” essentially mortgaging the future.

We had a lot of conversations of “What do you really need versus what do you really want?” We also looked at process decisions. Is our process right? A lot of times, it wasn’t. We didn’t want to be micromanagers, but we needed to put some processes in place so people couldn’t spend money we didn’t have. 

What led you to consulting? 

I always tried to help people out when I was coaching, but it was always local, a rotary club or (another) high school coach. I just didn’t think you could do that full time unless you were big time, like the Bill Parcells’ or the Bobby Bowden’s or the Tony Robbins’, the big motivational speakers, never a Jamy Bechler.

During my time as an athletic director, I got a call from the John Maxwell Organization. They were starting a certification to train people to go out and speak and to be better leaders... I started looking at how can I actually turn this into a business and help more than just the people at this school?

After two years of being an AD, (my wife and I) just jumped into the deep end with essentially no life preserver…. We started Bechler Leadership to help people. Yes, we want to put food on our table and be successful from a financial standpoint, but we got into it with an approach of, “How can we help coaches and leaders not make the same mistakes?”

We’re not changing the world, but it’s awesome when we can change the world of one person and make a difference on one team.

I would assume now that you have to step into some situations where you may not have all of the facts or be familiar with the specific challenges. How do you still provide meaningful feedback?

I’m still trying to learn that on a daily basis. You ask a lot of questions. Even though you’re supposed to be consulting, it’s good to shut up once in a while. It’s good to learn. I heard a coach years ago at a clinic say, “Learn to listen and listen to learn.” A lot of times, we don’t listen, so we don’t learn. Therefore, we’re not able to help as much as possible.

What you find, no matter if it’s business or sports teams, is often you’re dealing with leaders who were very similar to me. They have big egos. They think their knowledge or their expertise trumps inspiration. They think the problem is their players or, if you’re an athletic director, “these darn coaches.” Or, if you’re a business owner, these employees.

But ultimately, the problem is you. You have to do some things differently to inspire people, to motivate people.

It sounds like you don’t claim to be the solution to anyone’s problem.

I get the question all the time, “What’s a great team-building activity?” It’s not a dumb question, but the best thing you can do for team building is your every-single-day interactions with your team. It’s not the thing you did in August.

What you do in the hallway, what you do when you get on the bus when you go to an event, that’s team building. That means a whole lot more than that one thing you did when you hired Jamy to come in.

Often times, we think if we check just off a box or do X, Y and Z, we’re going to have a great team. But it’s like marriage. You can’t just bring home flowers, chocolates and a nice card and all of a sudden your marriage is good.

It’s an every day thing.

Q&A Resources
Jamy Bechler  ― Website | X | Books | Podcast| Speaking | LinkedIn | YouTube | Facebook

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