Mastering Yourself: Lessons from a Former Secret Service Agent

In today’s world of relentless demands and constant change, the ability to lead with greater clarity, conviction, presence, and resilience is more important than ever. Few understand this better than Evy Poumpouras—a former U.S. Secret Service Special Agent who has protected some of the world’s most powerful leaders. Trained in reading people, detecting deception, and facing danger head-on, Poumpouras has honed an expertise that extends beyond security into the psychology of leadership and influence.

As the bestselling author of Becoming Bulletproof: Life Lessons from a Secret Service Agent and co-host of Bravo’s Spy Games, Poumpouras recently shared her insights on The Diary of a CEO podcast with Steven Bartlett. She discussed the pitfalls of being easily offended, the danger of relying on others’ opinions, and the critical body language mistake that weakens presence. But perhaps her most compelling takeaway was this:

“The biggest struggle people face isn’t the world around them—it’s themselves.”

Poumpouras explained that we are often our own greatest obstacles. We sabotage progress, rationalize poor decisions, and downplay our weaknesses while inflating our strengths. Research supports this: many in the Western world minimize their faults while exaggerating their positive attributes, leading to a lack of accountability and, ultimately, a loss of control over their lives.

While external challenges and bad actors exist, Poumpouras emphasizes that personal transformation starts with the relationship we build with ourselves—our mindset, our discipline, and our decision-making. To truly become adaptable in these ever-changing times, we as leaders must adopt a mindset of greater ownership, intentionality in our decisions and reactions, and a focused commitment to service and impact.

From her experiences in high-stakes environments, Poumpouras shares six foundational creeds that can empower leaders, coaches, executives, and high performers on their journey of leadership and personal mastery.

1. Speak with conviction. It’s not what you say, but how you say it. If you don’t believe in your words, then no one else will. Own what you say.

2. Respect is a gift. If someone wants to give it to you, they will. If they don’t, they won’t. So stop chasing it. The respect you desire comes from within.

3. Master the art of silence. The person who speaks the least has the most power in the conversation. The more you speak, the less you learn and the more you reveal.

4. Motivation is an illusion. It’s fickle. It comes and goes. It’s unreliable. If you wait to be motivated to do something, you will accomplish little in life. Motivation equals mediocrity.

5. Words are like currency. When you talk just to talk, you’re passing dollar bills. But when you speak because you have something of value to say, you’re dropping hundreds.

6. Serve something greater than yourself. Help others. Be a champion for humanity. Your time here is temporary. Leave the world better than how you found it.

As of today, we are 64 days into 2025. Some plans may be on track, while others may have veered off course. The real question is—where are you truly showing up for yourself and those you lead?

• Which of these creeds resonate, and are you already living them with consistency?

• Which ones need more attention and intentional action?

• Where might you be making excuses instead of taking ownership?

In a time full of distractions, information, and noise, we have a unique opportunity to turn inward—to focus on the most important project of all: ourselves. True transformation starts from within. By cultivating discipline, clarity, and a deep connection with ourselves, we create the foundation for lasting growth and meaningful impact on those we have the privilege of leading and caring for.

So today, take a moment. Reflect. Breathe. Check in with yourself. Acknowledge what is—and if needed, make a small adjustment that you can consistently commit to so you can keep moving toward what could be.

And as you move forward with purpose, remember: great leaders aren’t just made—they’re built, one day and one decision at a time.

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