Nervous vs. Stressed

The major TV interview was set to begin in minutes, and Julia Boorstin had just been handed a huge stack of papers. 

Across the table from her was Bob Iger, the then-Disney CEO, and Boorstin was scrambling to find the newsworthy elements of his company’s quarterly-report.

Boorstin, a CNBC reporter and author of the new book When Women Lead, knew she could get through it and conduct an informative interview. But she couldn't let the stress or chaos of the moment overwhelm her. 

Boorstin’s concerns at the time — recently outlined on the Learning Leader Show — were a key snapshot into the difference between being nervous and being stressed.

While the two are certainly similar, there are some nuances we'd benefit from understanding. 

Nervous:

• Embarrassed about potentially making a mistake• Anxious we're not mentally or physically capable of doing something• Intimidated and feeling like we're an imposter• Fearing we don't have what it takes

Stressed:

• The stakes are very high and we care about the result• We're competent, but have an intense workload with too little time• Overthinking the task at hand and what could go wrong• Obstacles outside our control making the situation more difficult

Nervousness is largely driven by internal factors that require getting a hold of our mind and coming to terms with what’s actually in front of us. Stress mostly stems from a preoccupation with external hurdles that we’re concerned will be our undoing.

The key to getting through either is hardly revolutionary, according to Boorstin.

It, in part, comes down to:

1. Over-preparing for the work that must be completed

2. Coming to terms with external circumstances and focusing squarely on what’s in front of us

3. Getting extensive practice and reps in at what we hope to be good at

4. Evaluating past experiences in detail and applying the lessons from these

It was a process that took her years to master. 

Ultimately, there's no perfect formula for overcoming jitters — and remedies will be different from person to person.

But Boorstin said a crucial factor for her growth and ability to ask intelligent questions of the world's most-prominent CEOs on a dime was not talking herself up and feeling like she was invincible — but rather a willingness to embrace the benefits of self-doubt.

"Being confident all the time is not a good thing," she said.