Never Lose Sight of Your Past

Joan Didion has written first-rate novels and essays capturing the 1960s counter-cultural revolution and the Hollywood lifestyle. In her book, Slouching Towards Bethlehem, a collection of essays from her observations of Berkeley, Calif., she wrote a passage regarding the change all of us will experience in our lives:

“I think we are well-advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise, they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind's door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends. We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget. We forget the loves and the betrayals alike, forget what we whispered and what we screamed, forget who we were.”

As we contemplate changes going into the new year and pledge to make heartfelt resolutions, we need to read Ms. Didion’s words before finalizing what we want to alter in our behaviors and habits. The consistent change we crave will only occur when we recognize who we were in our past and who we want to become moving forward. After all, the past holds the key to our future. Ms. Didion’s words urge all of us to understand our positives and negatives entirely and then proceed accordingly with an understanding that these traits, good or bad, will resurface later. If we fail to identify our past actions, our past behaviors and simply ignore the potential problems, we lose sight of who we are. 

Before making any changes, let’s embrace who we are today, make peace with our actions and be completely honest about the reasons we want to alter our lives. The most important conversation we have each day is the one with ourselves. The best way to stick with our resolution of change is to understand why we need to make a shift, not negatively with self-deprecation, but in a positive way with optimistic self-talk. Let’s be open, honest and understanding of the past. One of the many reasons we take two steps forward, then one step back lies with our inability — in Ms. Didion’s words, to keep on nodding terms with who we used to be — good or bad.   

Before we decide on our new year’s resolutions, let’s not forget our past. Only when we recognize it can we proceed with clarity and acceptance. 

We can and will change.

Please forward and share this email with your friends and family.