The Power of Silence

Have you ever been in a busy meeting that abruptly turns to complete and total silence? No one says a word. It becomes awkward — no one can bear it — so inevitably someone starts talking to fill the air with gibberish. Silence is so uncomfortable that many people will fill it with completely useless words that mean nothing but are still on the record. We’ll talk when it produces no benefit just to avoid silence.

We often see the lack of silence control in press conferences given by government officials, sports coaches or anyone else who must handle questioning that prompts a direct response. This setting of a person at a podium, awaiting questions, is reminiscent of our time back in grade school. We’d sit at our desk, the teacher would ask a question, and we could not wait to raise our hand to prove our knowledge by supplying a correct answer. As toddlers, we believed that if we answered quickly, the teacher would think we were bright, which was paramount to our well being. If we answered too quickly, we’d essentially tell the person asking the question that it was an easy one — which could offend them.

When we pause for an extended time in thought, we send the message to all that we are thinking, and we flatter the person who asked the question by conveying that it engaged us. By creating silence, we gain control and prove that the more comfortable a person is with silence, he/she has an advantage in any conversation. Learning to live with silence allows our mental fortitude to grow, ultimately making us stronger.

Leaders who must answer questions each day need to understand the benefits of silence. When we pause, allow time to pass, engage the audience and make them wait for an answer, we demonstrate confidence and thought in our responses. It then forces the person asking the question to closely listen to the answer without thinking of their next question. You then win the day.

As Leonardo da Vinci once said, “Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.”

Embrace silence and make it your friend, in meetings, in press conferences, in every aspect of your life.

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