Saturday Blueprint with Jay Bilas

There’s Coach K, Jay Wright and John Calipari, but few people have become as synonymous with college basketball over the past couple of decades as Jay Bilas.

Beyond analyzing games and breaking down teams, Bilas is also a lawyer and penned a pioneering leadership book, “Toughness,” with unique insights into grit and resiliency he's observed in his years around the sport.

The Daily Coach spoke with him recently to get his perspective on impactful vs. ineffective coaches, key lessons from Coach K, the myth of “fearlessness” and how to bounce back from disappointment.

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

Jay, growing up Southern California, what are some lessons you learned from your parents?

My dad didn’t really believe in multi-tasking. One time, when I was in high school, he could tell I was distracted playing in a game and he asked me after what I was thinking about. I said I had this test coming up, all these things. He told me, “It’s O.K. to concentrate on the game while you’re playing and block everything else out. Then, when you concentrate on your homework, don’t think about basketball.” Whatever you’re doing, devote your full mind to it, then move on to the next thing.

My mom was kind of the general of the household. Her word was law. She was more into doing your best all the time. In school, if I didn’t give my best effort, that’s when I heard from her. Neither of my parents was fortunate enough to go to college, so it was a big priority for them that I went. My mom spent a lot of time talking about "college of your choice," perform well enough in school so nobody says no to you.

How'd you get into basketball?

I didn’t start playing until about 4th grade. My mom saw an ad in the local paper for a tryout for the youth basketball league. I made something called the conference team. It was the best players in the area, and we traveled around Southern California, Nevada, Utah.

Dick Spidell was the coach. He was the first coach I ever had, and I played with him all five years leading up to high school. Coach Spidell did two pretty amazing things for me. He taught me how to win. He had really high expectations, and he was really good at giving confidence. When I was in 8th grade, he was talking about high school and I asked him, “Do you think I can make the team?” He looked at me and said, “Make the team? You’re gonna be the best player this high school has ever had.” For me, that was a huge confidence boost.

You’ve mentioned you weren’t as close with your high school coach. What did he struggle with and what do you think high school coaches as a whole could do better with?

I think he was a good person, but he just wasn’t a good coach. We had a great team and a really close group, but it was a miserable experience between player and coach. I think the idea of putting your players first doesn’t mean you don’t make tough decisions or have high expectations or that you don’t get on them, but it was always a battle. There was a lack of transparency and honesty in a lot of ways.

Coaches are the authority over arguably the most important thing in their players’ lives at that stage. I hung on (my high school coach’s) every word, but frankly, there wasn’t much positive that came from it.

How did Coach Krzyzewski separate himself from others in your recruitment?

He was unfailingly honest. I felt like other coaches who recruited me were trying to sell me a used car. With him, there was an authenticity and a genuineness to it. Because I didn’t have a very good relationship with my high school coach, who I played for in college was the most important factor to me. I wasn’t comparing schools — I was comparing coaches.

It came down to Coach K, Lute Olson at Iowa, Jim Boeheim at Syracuse, Ted Owens at Kansas. All were amazing. But Coach K just gave the feeling that he was the one. He was the least accomplished and well-known at the time, but his honesty and ability to cut through what was most important to me was the separating factor.

Why was body language so important to Coach K and what do you think the larger implications of body language are?

That was really a big deal to him: how you carry yourself, how you reacted to situations. There were countless times we were watching film and he would stop it and say, "Look at your body language here. What message are you sending to your teammates and opponent?" Including how we reacted to things on the bench.

I do think that matters, and clearly, he did because he conditioned everyone to take it seriously. You have to project strength and confidence and togetherness, and you do that first and foremost with your body language and the way you communicate.

How did Coach K approach confrontation?

He wasn’t one of those who would say, "Hey, don’t rock the boat when we’re winning." His thing was, if there’s an issue, we're going to address that right now and correct it and act positively on it.

Even though some of his corrections may have sounded angry at times, there was a positive element to them. “Do this. You’re capable of doing this. Otherwise, I wouldn’t tell you to do it.” Basically, he’d convey you’re better than this. You need to perform up to your capabilities. That way, you felt like, "O.K., I can do this. He believes I can do this." And that’s a positive thing when your coach believes in you, even when you’re getting negative feedback.

In your book, you share some interesting views on failure and its connection to toughness.

A real competitor acknowledges that he/she can lose. If you’re going into a game or competition, you’re laying it on the line and you’re endeavoring to win, but you have to acknowledge that the competitor across from you is doing the same thing. Whether you play well, don’t play well or whatever, you can lose. You have to accept this. How you behave afterwards is indicative of your competitive nature.

I think it’s an important thing in dealing with competitiveness. You’re going to fail, but are you going to beat yourself up for it or accept, “I failed. Why did I fail and what do I have to do so this doesn’t happen again?”

You have some unique perspectives on fearlessness, too. You say that it’s not that anyone’s fearless. It’s that he/she has made peace with potential negative repercussions.

I think everybody faces that all the time. You think being fearless comes with not being nervous. But it’s trying as best you can to let go of the consequences of the action.

Steve Kerr told me one time in taking the last shot of a game, you have to accept there may be a negative outcome, but you’re not afraid of it. The game-winners, those are the ones that carry the most pressure. You have to let go of, "I may miss." I’m not afraid to miss. I’m not going to let the fear of losing keep me from doing something positive. It sounds easy, but I don’t think it is.

You use the metaphor of a ladder a lot when you're speaking and you say you can’t get to the top in one step, but you can definitely get to the bottom. Where'd that come from?

I used to work for my dad in the summertime in a construction-type operation. One time, I had to carry some equipment up a ladder to get to the roof of one of his projects. I had overloaded myself trying to carry twice as much stuff to take half as many trips. I made a mistake on a rung and fell off. When I took that spill, at first, my dad thought I was hurt, but when he found out I wasn’t, he was mad and got on me about concentrating. You can’t get to the top of that ladder in one step, but you can get to the bottom.

What rung on that ladder is the most important? The one that you’re on! It was a good metaphor. No matter what you’re doing, thinking about how you got there or what negative actions got you there, that’s where you are. Deal with where you are and take the next step.

What are 3 books that have impacted you?

“Basketball: Multiple Offense and Defense” by Dean Smith.

“The Color of Law” by Richard Rothstein.

“Why the Best are the Best” by Kevin Eastman.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give yourself if you could go back a few decades?

Slow down. I think I was in a hurry to do what I wanted to do and accomplish things, and I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy the experience, but make sure you enjoy and appreciate the people who are around you. I played with and for amazing people. I think sometimes when you’re immersed in that, you can take for granted what’s around you.

There’s plenty of time to sit and worry about other things. I think I would’ve taken more time and concentrated on what’s really important. That’s what you’re doing right now and the people you’re doing it with.

Q&A Resources

Jay Bilas ― Twitter | Instagram | TikTok | Book: Toughness

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