Saying 'No' Is Good

We need to get our teams to understand that "no" is not the end, nor is it a roadblock.

May 17, 2021

At the end of every episode of Inside the Actors Studio, host James Lipton asks each guest 10 questions from the Bernard Pivot questionnaire. They are:

  1. What is your favorite word?

  2. What is your least favorite word?

  3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

  4. What turns you off?

  5. What is your favorite curse word?

  6. What sound or noise do you love?

  7. What sound or noise do you hate?

  8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

  9. What profession would you not like to do?

  10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Many guests answer No. 2 with the word “Maybe,” because it shows uncertainty, lack of action and direction. As leaders, we should all learn to avoid it as well because it makes us look weak, indecisive and as if we’re unwilling to make the hard decisions.

It also implies we don’t want to tell our people “No.” Somehow, we’ve turned “No” into an offensive word when it might be the best one we have in our leadership vocabulary.

James Clear, the renowned productivity writer and author of the best-selling book “Atomic Habits,” feels the words “yes” and “no” get used in an almost even ratio, to the point that they carry nearly equal weight. That’s a problem. In reality, “yes” and “no” are not just opposite in meaning, but of entirely different magnitudes in commitment.

“When you say no, you are only saying no to one option. When you say yes, you are saying no to every other option,” Clear says.

One of the greatest challenges we face is to make everyone comfortable hearing “no.” We need to get them to understand that “no” is not the end, nor is it even a roadblock; rather, it forces you to think divergently and find other options or solutions. Using the word NO properly can keep you from wasting time. It can both advance and prevent — which are ultimately both positive.

We must learn to be extra careful about what we say “Yes” to while making sure our teams understand that “No” is really a good word.