Self-Reflection Before the Bitterness

Life-altering events in our professional lives often cause us to become bitter. We didn’t start out feeling that way, but bitterness can take over when our departure from our organization wasn’t how we scripted it. It’s human nature. One moment, we’re working round the clock to improve the workplace and propel our careers — the next, we’re in the carpool lane at our kids’ school with nothing planned for the rest of the day. How did this happen?

The quick journey from excitement to dullness often creates resentment. The first week after losing our jobs, we receive numerous calls from friends and associates asking us what happened. They’re curious, concerned, and promise to keep in touch. A few do, most don’t. The next week, the number of calls dwindles further. And by the third week, we can count the number still calling on one hand, though they are often your genuine friends. For three weeks, we realize we didn’t have as many of these real friends as we thought, which then causes that bitterness level to rise. 

After a month or so, maybe even longer, reality sets in. We finally take a step back and do an autopsy on the situation, taking stock of our performance in every area. We take stock and self-evaluate. It’s the No. 1 way all experts suggest to eliminate bitterness after a tragic event. 

After weeks of intense scrutiny, we find a few solutions, and we’re left with a few questions: Why didn’t we spend more time analyzing our performance while we were actually doing the job? Why did we become so consumed by the job that we lost the job? And most importantly, why did it take bitterness for us to self evaluate?  

During the Coronavirus, many leaders have had free time to ask these questions while avoiding the firing part. It hopefully gave us a new perspective on our roles, performances, visions, and, most of all, what areas we need to improve upon. When normal life resumes, we should have notes of the things we must change, adapt, and install. 

But the most important lesson of all is that we must self-evaluate at least once a week — while we still have the job. We need to continually review our performance, our visions, our communications, and our overall leadership skills. We need to have self-reflective time and honest conversations with ourselves to help us grow.

Let’s not wait for our world to be turned upside down and bitterness to creep in for us to begin our self-evaluation.

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