'There's a Confidence That Comes From Doing Hard Things'

She was due to give birth in a couple of weeks, but on the day of her introductory press conference at the University of Oklahoma in the spring of 1996, Sherri Coale was ready to get right to work.

“Where are the recruiting files?” she asked.

When she was told they didn’t exist and that she would have to start from scratch, Coale was in mild disbelief.

“So, we’ve just been recruiting no one?” she asked.

Nearly three decades later, Coale is still celebrated in coaching circles for salvaging an Oklahoma program that had nearly been disbanded years prior — and ultimately guiding it to 19 straight NCAA Tournaments.

The Daily Coach spoke to her recently about seeing opportunity in hardship, the off-the-court hallmarks of her great teams, and why it’s important for leaders to have a writing routine.

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

Coach, thanks a lot for doing this. Tell us a little about your childhood and some key lessons from it.

I grew up in Healdton, Okla., a small town where everybody knew everybody. You couldn’t get away with anything, but you had a whole bunch of people cheering for you no matter what you did. I played basketball and was pretty good at it. I ran track and was O.K. at it. I was in the choir and student council and went to academic contests. I starred in the school play with zero acting ability, but you did everything because there weren’t enough people.

Through that process of being involved, when I left Healdton to go to college, I didn’t think there was anything I couldn’t do. There’s a confidence that comes from doing hard things — and not doing them well sometimes — and having to figure out a better way because you’re needed. That’s one of the greatest gifts that small town gave me — the sense that I could figure it out.

You were a good high school player and went on to play at Oklahoma Christian University. When did coaching get on your horizon?

Actually in about fifth grade. I was a weird kid. We used to get these Scholastic books, and all of my friends would buy the puzzle and mystery books and the cartoons. I ordered “They Call Me Coach,” by John Wooden.

I was just so enthralled by the game, went to my first camp when I was in third grade and fell in love with it. When it came time to graduate, I knew I wanted to be a teacher and a coach. It was never a question. I’d had a ball in my hands since third grade. I couldn’t imagine playing my last college basketball game, then putting on a dress and going to work and not touching a ball the rest of my life. Coaching was a perfect partnership for the teaching side.

You were a very successful coach at Norman High School before you moved on to the University of Oklahoma. What do you think came naturally to you and what did you have to work harder at?

I think I was good at teaching fundamentals because of the coaches I’d had. I was good at practice organization and planning, and I think I was pretty good at motivating our players.

What I wasn’t good at was that I took things personally when we lost. It was “I, I, I.” I was too hard on kids. I pushed them, and those expectations were important, but there were times I think I reacted after losses instead of responding. More good could’ve been done if I’d been a better responder at the time.

Not taking losses personally is a challenge for a lot of coaches and leaders in general. Did you just get past that with more experience?

I actually think sometimes when the body of work builds, it becomes even harder to detach from it and to recognize it’s not about you. I think as a coach, the thing you want to know is, “How can I fix it? How can I make it better?” Because of that, you want a reason for everything and to pinpoint what it is.

But sometimes, you can’t find that. We know there’s so much that happens that we can’t control. Young, old, I think that’s hard regardless. I think you have to constantly remind yourself that there are a lot of factors at play, and your job is to do the best you can at any given moment.

You take over at Oklahoma in 1996, and the phrase that commonly comes up when you Google your name is “inherited a program in turmoil.” How did you get the job and what were some of the circumstances when you arrived?  

I was in the right place at the right time doing the right things. I was at Norman High School in the community where this program was struggling. I was literally a mile diagonally from it coaching my little high school team. We were winning and packing the gym and were really good, and there was a buzz. Women’s basketball wasn’t what it is today. It was a time when athletic directors could maybe take a chance on somebody. It was a perfect storm that swirled around.

I used to say what we inherited was basically a farm, a great piece of land that needed some work. You go, “Yes! It’s got this great truck. It just needs some paint. Oh, it’s got a flat tire. We’ll fix it.” Then, you go and lift the hood, and there’s no engine, there’s nothing in there. Every turn, that’s what it was. We really started from scratch, except with a bad reputation.

But the opportunity in that is where can you go but up? What we inherited was a gigantic opportunity.

When you look back on it now, what stands out to you most from those early years in building the program?

When I got the job, I had a 4-year-old son. I gave birth to my daughter two weeks after the press conference. I had to recruit all over the country, and I didn’t have time to ask, “What if we don’t make it?” or “What are people saying about this?” it never even registered. I just had stuff to do constantly.

The first year was so hard. The second year was hard in the sense that we were having all of these private victories that were just awesome but never showed up on the scoreboard. If that year had happened today with all of the access everyone has to judge everything, I don’t know if those kids would’ve pulled through. But I had them in my bubble.

If we had a great two-hour practice, that was a win. If we reached our goal in a passing drill, that was a win that was celebrated. Our team was in that little bubble of belief and progress. The outside world couldn’t overtake that environment. We went 8-19, but we were way better than that in our minds and our hearts because we’d been using an internal gauge that was more about process.

You ended up going to 19 straight NCAA tournament, including back-to-back Final Fours at one point. Beyond the obvious of skill or talent, were there any common characteristics of the great teams you coached?

Toughness. Mentally tough, physically tough, emotionally tough.

The other common thread was unselfishness in terms of “I’m having a crappy day here, but I’m not going to bring it into this gym because those people deserve better.” They were willing to say I know something’s going on, but I’m going to put “Me” over here for a minute and go be about “Us.” Those were clearly discernible in my best teams, even at the high school level.

Another easy to measure one was communication. My best teams were the ones that listened, heard and shared information. They didn’t get angry at someone and put it over in a corner. They’d approach the person and talk about it. That doesn’t always make for a squeaky-clean locker room and picture-perfect practices. Sometimes, it’s messy, but that’s life.

Then, when they got on the court, they’d take this congealed version of themselves out because they had worked through all of that stuff before they stepped out there. If you unpack that a little further, that’s vulnerability and a willingness to be real with people, and love them, and let them love you.

You left coaching in 2021 and have since written a book. I know writing has always been a major passion of yours. Why do you think it’s so important for coaches and leaders?  

It’s how I understand things. It’s how I figure out what I think. Throughout my early years of coaching, I journaled regularly. Later years, when cell phones became an extension of our hand, I felt this need to always be recruiting, always be working on the phone, and I didn’t take the time to write. I missed it, and I think I would’ve been better had I been doing it more because it helps me work through things.

Writing clarifies things. Most of the time when I start, I don’t really know what I think until I’m done. I think every person who’s charged with leading people and has great responsibility would benefit from having a great writing practice. It keeps you grounded, it keeps you aware, and it settles me.

Q&A Resources

Sherri Coale ― Website | X (formerly Twitter) | Book: Rooted to Rise | LinkedIn

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