The Strength of Sitting in the Sadness

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South Carolina women’s basketball head coach Dawn Staley’s accolades as both a player and coach speak for themselves. A decorated Hall of Famer. A champion. A history-maker. She has elevated and transcended the game with her presence and excellence.

But beyond the accolades is Coach Staley’s rare gift: her willingness to be a truth-teller. She uses basketball not just as a means to compete — but as a mirror, a classroom, a vehicle for life lessons. She shows up with courage, vulnerability, grace, authenticity, and a grounded sense of self that gives others permission to do the same.

Earlier this month, her South Carolina Gamecocks faced off against another storied program — the UConn Huskies, led by legendary coach Geno Auriemma — in the women’s national championship game. Both programs know the glory of winning and the sting of defeat.

But this time, UConn didn’t just win — they dominated. The final score: 82–59. It was one of the largest margins of victory in NCAA title game history.

And in the postgame press conference, Coach Staley didn’t sugarcoat the result.

“They beat our a**,” she said. No excuses. No deflection. Just honest reflection.

“Our kids gave it all they had,” she added. “When you can understand why you lost — and when you’ve been on the other side of that three times — you understand it. You can swallow it. We lost to a very, very good basketball team that beat our a**, but they didn’t make us like it. There’s a difference.”

Then, when asked about freshman star Joyce Edwards and how she handled the locker room afterward, Coach Staley offered a powerful leadership moment — one that applies far beyond sports: “I let her sit in her sadness. Sometimes letting them sit in their sadness is much more powerful than breaking that train of thought. But we’ll talk about it. She’ll express how she feels and what she needs to work on in order for her to get us back to this place.”

In a world where we’re often told to “move on” quickly — to suppress or bypass discomfort and not lean into the turbulence — Coach Staley reminds us that there’s strength in stillness.

As leaders, executives, coaches, and high performers, we’re conditioned to fix, to solve, to push forward and through. But how often do we truly allow ourselves — or others — to sit in the sadness?

To sit in the disappointment. To sit in the uncertainty. To sit in the discomfort of grief—whether from loss or unmet expectations.

Too often, we run from the tough feelings. We numb the discomfort with distraction. We avoid the hard conversations — not just with our teams, but with ourselves. But real growth, real transformation, often begins when we create space for the full spectrum of emotion. Real growth lives on the other side of stillness — in the moments when we dare to feel, to reflect, and to honor what the moment is trying to teach us.

Sitting in the sadness, the disappointment, and the defeat is a deeper, sacred discovery — and often a renewed appreciation — for the moment, the craft, the people, the process, and the climb itself.

In this game called life, we’re all going through something that others know nothing about. Support for mental health, emotional presence, and honest reflection shouldn’t be considered luxuries — they are essential to our well-being.

Coach Staley teaches us that leadership isn’t just about winning. It’s about feeling it all, standing in the truth, rising up and walking forward with deeper perspective.

Allowing ourselves — and those we lead — to sit in the sadness isn’t weakness. It’s leadership. It’s emotional intelligence. It’s healing. It means we’re human.

Because sometimes, the most profound clarity, growth, connection and resilience are born not from reaction — but from reflection, and from allowing stillness and silence to reveal the answers.

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