Tony Bennett, Lady Gaga and Real Leadership

It seems like an unlikely friendship.

He’s 95. She’s 35.

He’s a legendary big band singer. She’s a modern pop icon.

He’s known for classy suits. She wears eccentric outfits and has tattoos.

But Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga have forged a remarkably close bond over the past several years — and their relationship has some critical leadership lessons.

Bennett has Alzheimer’s Disease now and struggles to recognize his friends, much less remember their names.

So, when the two were slated to perform together in New York City this summer for what was expected to be his last show, Lady Gaga quickly realized she had to alter how she addressed him.

“If I say, ‘Would you like to sing “Love for Sale” or “It Don’t Mean a Thing If It Ain’t Got That Swing,”’ he might not have as easy of a response,” Lady Gaga told Anderson Cooper of 60 Minutes.

“If I were to say, ‘Tony, would you like to sing “Love for Sale?” He’ll say yeah.’

“When that music comes on, something happens to him,” she added. “He knows exactly what he’s doing. What’s important for me is that I don’t get in the way of that.”

It’s impressive humility and perspective from someone so accomplished.

As leaders, our job is to communicate our visions, goals and strategies so that our teams are ready for when the music comes on. Then, we must get out of their way.

Too many times, though, we grow frustrated that someone doesn’t understand the purpose, doesn’t grasp a concept, just can’t remember a play or scouting report.

We blame them for not “getting it” when we haven’t really formulated the right strategies to reach this particular individual.

It would’ve been easy for Lady Gaga to get flustered in rehearsals or even call off the show altogether. After all, Bennett didn’t even seem to remember who she was.

But she exhibited patience, empathy and quickly adapted her questions to engage him — and the two put on a remarkable performance.

“If a loved one of yours has Alzheimer’s, there is a way to communicate and there’s a way to touch the magic inside of them that’s still there,” Lady Gaga said.

“I think it’s up to us to ask ourselves: What are the ways we can push through what we’re feeling so that we can best communicate with them?”

If we’re struggling today to reach our teams, let’s give careful consideration to Lady Gaga’s question.

Real leadership isn’t about being glued to a particular philosophy, strategy or dialogue style.

It’s about adapting so that when the music comes on, our teams are ready to perform.