Video: Love & Respect Can Go Together

The Indiana Hoosiers football team won a gritty road game against Wisconsin this past weekend — the latest impressive victory in what’s been a remarkable season in Bloomington.

After the game, Coach Tom Allen was mobbed by his players in a scene that provided a valuable leadership lesson.

“Recruits, come play for this man. Best coach in America,” one player said.

“Best coach in the nation right here, man,” another added.

“Love you, Coach,” said a third.

In leadership, we hear countless cliches about how it’s better to be respected than liked, that we shouldn’t let our players or employees get too close because they’ll become complacent, that we’re not supposed to be their friend.

Coach Allen doesn’t seem to be concerned with any of this. He has given several stirring locker room speeches this year about how he loves his team, and he’s heaped immense praise on individual players.

He’s not worried about guys getting too comfortable with him or that he’s becoming a pushover who will eventually lose the locker room.

We need to get this notion out of our heads that we’re weak if we’re warm and well liked. There is power in making ourselves slightly vulnerable and letting our players and employees know how much we care about them as individuals, not simply as Xs and Os or revenue generators.

This doesn’t mean we don’t hold them accountable to a vision or that we shy away from a little conflict when necessary.

But love and respect don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

In fact, they should probably go hand in hand.

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