Who Am I?

Self-deprecating humor came naturally to our 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. In fact, after he was once called “two-faced,” Lincoln replied, “If I had two faces, why would I be wearing this one?” He loved to tell another story about his looks:

“While riding a train, I was once accosted … by a stranger, who said, ‘Excuse me, sir, but I have an article in my possession which rightfully belongs to you.’ ‘How is that?’ I asked, considerably astonished. The stranger took a jackknife from his pocket. ‘This knife,’ he said, ‘was placed in my hands some years ago with the injunction that I was to keep it until I found a man uglier than myself. I have carried it from that time to this. Allow me now to say, sir, that I think you are fairly entitled to the property.’”

Lincoln was not afraid to make fun of himself and never shied away from examining his soul. He was often troubled by the unrest in the nation caused by slavery and his struggle to keep the country unified. Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin in her excellent book Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln wrote that Lincoln was “plain and complex, shrewd and transparent, tender and iron-willed.” He displayed, “a fierce ambition, an exceptional political acumen, and a wide range of emotional strengths, forged in the crucible of personal hardship, that took his unsuspecting rivals by surprise.” Lincoln knew himself, from his strengths to his weaknesses. His continual self-examination allowed his leadership to shine.

Understanding ourselves through self-discovery is the first step toward becoming a five-tool leader like Lincoln. To dig deep into finding our exact personality traits, we first must be completely honest with ourselves, digging deep into our behaviors and reactions to peel back the layers that have built up over time. We have three conflicting views of ourselves that, when operating independently, cause us harm. When they act in unison, we live a life in balance with nature, the world, those we interact with daily and, most importantly, those we love. They are:

1. The person I think I am.

2. The person you think I am.

3. The person I really am.

If we care about just one or even two of these versions, we will have significant problems. We must care about all three. And most importantly, we must make sure all three are aligned with little or no distance. When they are in unison, as they were for Lincoln, then we reach the harmony we so desperately seek.

Today, on a blank piece of paper, write down the answers to these three questions, then work extra hard to make sure they’re aligned tightly.

Lincoln mastered self-discovery during a time of crisis. So can you.

P.S. If you are in search of a book recommendation, our team at The Daily Coach highly recommends 21 Lessons for the 21st Century by Yuval Noah Harari. This book is a probing and visionary investigation into today’s most urgent issues as we move into the uncharted territory of the future. Harari’s unique ability to make sense of where we have come from and where we are going has captured the imaginations of millions of readers. Here he invites us to consider values, meaning, and personal engagement in a world full of noise and uncertainty. When we are deluged with irrelevant information, clarity is power.

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