Why Saying No Can Be a Good Thing

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As we start the new year, many new requests for our time begin to roll in. The new year brings a sense of excitement, a feeling of gratitude for our successes, and a resolution to help others. We want others to share in the joy of our achievements.

So, when an email arrives in our inbox from someone seeking aid, mentorship, or guidance, we often feel compelled to respond. Part of this urge stems from an instinct to extend common courtesies to those aspiring to follow in our footsteps. By saying yes to such requests, we feel as though we’ve started the year on the right foot.

Big mistake.

Recently, Steven Pressfield wrote in his weekly blog about how saying no was his New Year’s resolution. He resolved to stop aiding others at the expense of the time he’d set aside for himself. Similarly, Peter Drucker, the renowned management guru, had this to say about the power of saying no:

“One of the secrets of productivity (in which I believe, whereas I do not believe in creativity) is to have a VERY BIG wastepaper basket to take care of ALL invitations such as yours. Productivity, in my experience, consists of NOT doing anything that helps the work of other people but spending all one’s time on the work the Good Lord has fitted one to do, and to do well.”

Helping others is undoubtedly noble and a wonderful way to start the new year. However, like all great ideas, it comes with a cost. The price of giving away your time can be analyzed through several lenses—personal, professional, and opportunity-based. Let’s break it down:

1. Opportunity Cost

• Time spent helping others or engaging in unpaid activities is time you can’t devote to personal growth, career advancement, or rest.

• Example: Volunteering for 10 hours might mean missing out on earning income, learning new skills, or recharging.

2. Emotional and Mental Impact

• Overcommitting can lead to burnout, stress, or resentment, particularly if your contributions go unappreciated.

• It can also detract from time needed for self-care, nurturing relationships, or engaging in activities that replenish your energy.

3. Financial Cost

• Offering professional skills or expertise for free often means forfeiting potential income.

• In some cases, you might incur direct expenses, such as travel or supplies, without reimbursement.

4. Impact on Priorities

• Spending excessive time on others’ needs can delay or derail your own goals.

• This can hinder personal or professional growth and lead to dissatisfaction over time.

5. Loss of Focus

• Giving away time without clear boundaries can dilute your focus, reducing efficiency and limiting meaningful results—for yourself and for others.

So, how can we do both? How can we mitigate the costs of giving away our time while still helping others?

• Set Boundaries: Decide how much time you’re willing to give and stick to it.

• Prioritize: Focus on causes or people that align with your values and long-term goals.

• Balance: Leave room for personal needs, rest, and paid work if applicable.

• Charge Strategically: If appropriate, balance free contributions with paid ones, especially if you’re a professional.

Giving your time can be immensely rewarding, but it’s essential to evaluate and align your efforts with your capacity and life goals to ensure the benefits outweigh the costs. Be mindful of your resolutions to help others, ensuring they don’t come at the expense of your own well-being.

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