Winning Without Being Defined by the Win

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Each day is a unique opportunity to be chasing something. Yet, in that chase—balancing the demands and noise of the outside world with the internal critic of the perfectionist—our identity can become so warped in our pursuits that we lose ourselves. We put at risk our relationships, our peace, our well-being, and ultimately, our ability to find fulfillment in the process.

To reach a high level of excellence in our respective crafts requires sacrifice, resilience, hard work, and discipline—none of which are negotiable. Yet, it's a slippery slope. What we do is not all of who we are.

Madison Keys, after winning her first Grand Slam title at the Australian Open last month, captured this brilliantly. We can achieve more—including in our careers—when we don’t allow ourselves to be defined by them. In a thrilling and hard-fought final, Keys defeated the current World No. 1, Aryna Sabalenka, in a grueling three-set battle. It was the culmination of years of effort—battling injuries, enduring crushing setbacks, and relentlessly pursuing this elusive goal.

She described the weight of chasing that Grand Slam dream: “From a pretty young age, I felt like if I never won a Grand Slam, then I wouldn't have lived up to what people thought I should have been. That was a pretty heavy burden to carry around," Keys said.

Yet, Madison Keys’ biggest transformation didn’t just happen on the court—it happened within. She kept showing up, getting the physical reps, but just as importantly, doing the inner work.

“I've done a lot of work to no longer need this. I really wanted it, but it was no longer the thing that was going to define me. And kind of letting go of that burden, I think, finally gave myself the ability to actually play for it.”

In our quietest moments of reflection, we must ask ourselves: How much of our self-worth is tied to what we do and the titles we hold? There is no right or wrong answer—only the acknowledgment that can be the birthplace of a breakthrough.

Keys' words remind us that we are not defined by our work, our accolades, or our bank accounts. We are worthy simply because we are alive.

She also puts two important themes into perspective—ones that are crucial as we think about leading ourselves and our organizations:

1. What does success truly look and feel like?

Coach John Wooden once said:

“Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”

Many of us may have strayed far from this true definition of success. Have we lost sight of what it really means? Is success merely measured by external achievements and acquisitions, or is it found in the ongoing journey of growth and becoming?

2. Are we still having fun?

Does the process of showing up for our work, our craft, for those we lead still ignite that burning fire within us? Are we still driven by passion, or have we become consumed by pressure and expectation?

Life is short. No matter how long we live, it's fragile. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. So we must not postpone our living. We must not delay taking the leap. We must not wait to chase the things that make us feel most alive.

We should strive for greatness and mastery in our pursuits, but our identity and worth don’t have to be tethered to the outcome.

The key lies in embracing the duality—dedicating ourselves to the work and striving for excellence while staying unattached to the outcome. Madison Keys embodies this mindset, and her play has become a powerful testament to that liberation.

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